How to Be a Good Citizen in Bad Times
How did we wind up here again?
Today is Election Day, and I’m sure everyone’s stress levels are already at the breaking point. I know mine are. Instead of posting something snarky, or trying to change your mind about the candidates, I want to humbly offer a few things to keep in mind as we head into yet another challenging and anxious period for our country.
Here are a few strategies to stay grounded and practice good citizenship tonight and in the days and weeks to come.
Be patient
It may take time to know the final vote counts, especially out west. Just like in 2020, we may not have a definitive result tonight, and that’s okay. It’s a normal part of the process if extra time is needed to accurately count all the ballots. In an undertaking this gargantuan, collecting and counting the votes across 50 different states, human error is a natural part of the process. Individual mistakes or screw ups are just that, not another push pin to add to the conspiracy cork board as evidence of a sinister coup. This election will be one of the most scrutinized events in our country’s history. We should trust the process, stay informed, and grant the human beings doing the physical work of the election some degree of respect and mercy.
Be careful about the information we share
We should take an extra breath and an extra minute or two to examine the breaking news or gotcha headlines popping up on our phones and feeds. Is it something from an official or verified source? Is it something we can find in more than one source? Does it make sense or does it seem too good (or bad) to be true? Social media posts are not news outlets. There are too many bad actors counting on us to overreact and let passion overrule our reason over the next few months. We should not give them the satisfaction.
Keep it local
One big downside of instant communication networks is that we now hear about isolated incidents or outrages anywhere in the country the moment they happen. We shouldn’t let digital outrage blind us to the real world, and real people, around us. National news can make us feel helpless and isolated, like everyone on the other side is out to get us. We should ask ourselves, what does it look like outside our doors? How are our neighbors treating each other? How can we support the others around us who need help? We may not be able to single-handedly right every wrong in the world, but we can commit to being good to our families, our friends, our neighbors, even strangers on the street.
Be emotionally prepared
I have no clue how things will go this week, but we should all try to prepare ourselves emotionally for either outcome. Whoever wins, a large part of the country will experience extremely strong feelings of grief, shock, outrage, and disappointment. We can try to prepare ourselves in advance for the possibility that we will be on the losing side so it does not overwhelm us or knock us off balance too much.
In either outcome, what will we do on Wednesday? On Thursday? Next week or next month? And, importantly, how will we treat the other side if we win? What are some ways we can help lower the tension and show grace to fellow citizens who feel the disappointment of loss instead of gloating or kicking dirt in someone’s face when they are down?
Additionally, we all need to commit to accepting the outcome right now, even if we don’t like the results.
Tend your patch of the garden
One of the hardest parts of stress on a national scale is how it makes us feel like we have no control over anything. While we may not have control over everything, we do still have control over ourselves and how we react to events. As the words of the Serenity Prayer say, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
The best way each of us can help sustain American democracy is to uphold our own corner of it, or, to tend our patch of this shared garden. Practicing good citizenship, and accepting our portion of the responsibilities our system of government asks of us, is the most impactful way we can make a difference. We should not let bitterness and rage distract us from the work at hand.
If everyone tends their corner responsibly, our garden can flourish. If we all leave our own patches unworked because we are too busy screaming at someone else for not tending theirs correctly, or if we wait for someone else to do the work for us, the whole thing will rot.
Remember we are in this together
American democracy is not a practical joke to play on others, nor is it a spectator sport where we can unleash our worst tribal instincts watching others play a game. American democracy is not some marble statue for us to fight over. It’s a living, breathing network of human beings and the bonds we forge between us. It must be nurtured and cared for if it is to thrive.
We need to be good to each other and to ourselves. We should stay engaged for constructive reasons, not to seek joy in the grief of others. Take a break when we need it. Hold each other accountable, but do not seek to persecute.
We are not the first Americans to live through fearful and frightening times, nor will we be the last. In 1777, following the humiliating surrender and retreat by American forces from Fort Ticonderoga, General George Washington responded to a letter from General Philip Schuyler, one of the American commanders blamed for the defeat. Washington wrote to Schuyler, “We should never despair, our Situation before has been unpromising and has changed for the better, so I trust, it will again. If new difficulties arise, we must only put forth New Exertions and proportion our Efforts to the exigency of the times.”
We can get through this, together.
